NAME: John Beedles

AGE: 23

NICKNAME: John, Ron, Big Ron, Nose, Regis Ears, The Claw, Cock Eyed F***, Pin Head, Pie Arse.

POSITION: Centre Back/Right Midfield

PROFILE: Albion's player of the season since the club started, played all over the pitch for the first season, now plays as the team's centre back. John can keep up with most strikers as long as his ankles are up to it. The man with the strongest ankles in the world has been known to sprain them while lying down. Another founding member of the team also know for finishing every game he starts.